Like many young women, I have insecurities. With the constant marketing of self-enhancement products and cosmetic surgery targeting us, it can be difficult for any woman to feel good enough. These constant media messages, coupled with our own negative “self talk,” can impact anyone’s self esteem. Recently, however, I had a true “A-ha!” moment regarding self confidence.

I had this moment during a book club discussion with some mortgage bankers at my internship. Although this conversation was geared toward gaining confidence in selling mortgages, I felt the overall secret of self confidence can be applied to anyone. There are many external factors, such as media images, that can affect our self confidence, but our overall self esteem comes from the way that we feel about ourselves. If we are truly confident, external factors won’t penetrate our high sense of self worth. So do you want to know the secret? It’s simple.

Do what you say you’re going to do.

Now I know this seems too easy to be true, but it is. When you do what you say you’re going to do, you prove something to yourself. For example, I told myself this week, I would exercise for four hours. I have told myself this for many weeks and did not uphold it. However, this week, my attitude was different. I don’t have an exercise routine, so I knew this would be a challenge for me.

However, I decided to split these hours up into one hour of exercise a day for four days. When I actually exercised those four days, I felt so good about myself! For once, I did not disappoint myself--by making that little change, my self confidence increased dramatically. Now, I am confident I can begin to start an exercise routine and stick with it every week. If I can exercise regularly, what else can I accomplish? By doing what I said I was going to do, I began to trust myself more. Self trust directly correlates to self confidence.

Now, I’m not saying that upholding this secret is going to be easy. It can be very difficult to accomplish your goals. But, once you tackle one goal, you will become addicted and want to accomplish everything you have ever dreamed of doing! The enhanced self esteem you will feel from doing this will eventually begin to transform the way you think about yourself inside and out.

There will be moments when negative thoughts will creep into your mind, and it can be a battle everyday to not allow negative thoughts and images to affect you. But you own your mind; you can control how you respond to those negative thoughts. Identify what triggers your negative thoughts and find examples of when you did what you said you were going to do to counteract them.

When have you used the secret to self confidence in your life? How are you going to use it in the future?

Angel Mills | Image: Source