College is a time for new beginnings. For most, it’s the first time living independently. Living in a new city, surrounded by new people and confronted with new adventures can be overwhelming, and a tad scary, but fun. One of the biggest conflicts college freshmen face involves the first semester relationship. I find there are typically two personality types concerning college relationships. I like to call them the “jumper” and the “flyer.” The jumper, true to the name, jumps into a relationship with the first person that shows interest and is more or less a serial dater. The flyer likes to be fly solo and embrace her single status. Although there are definite pros and cons to each situation, there are more than a few reasons why being a flyer is in your best interest when you’re just starting your college career.
You just got there
Slow down there, champ. There’s absolutely no reason to jump into a relationship during your first few weeks in college. You’ve just arrived, and now’s the time to get acclimated to your new home, find your groove in your courses and determine the extracurricular activities in which you’d like to become involved. It’s quite probable that you’ll come across some cute guys -- here’s hoping, at least -- and you should most definitely have fun and make some memories. But when it comes to a serious, monogamous, intense relationship, it might be better to pace yourself.
You don’t know who you are yet
At the risk of sounding cliché, college is the time to find yourself. When you’ve just started college, you’re likely not really sure who you are yet. And that’s okay! What’s not okay is involving someone else in your self-awareness journey. There’s no need to drag someone else into the mix when you’re still something of a hot mess.
It’s not necessary
To be perfectly frank, you just don’t need to be in a relationship at such a young age. It can be distracting and confusing. Furthermore, in your late teens/early 20s, you or a partner may not be emotionally mature enough to be in a serious romantic situation. Don’t waste your time and energy or that of your partner.
Now, you shouldn’t walk around with an anti-love and anti-relationship mindset; that’s not the point here. There are those rare couples that met at orientation 20 years ago and are happily married today. If you happen to connect with someone that respects you and truly makes you happy, then go for it. The moral of this story is to simply take your time.
By: Adjoa Bruce | Image: Source
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